Theater Mode
by ExactChase
Summary: RWBY and Co. watch a variety of TV shows and movies with them as the cast! Now Showing: Infinity War!
1. Infinity War Part 1

**A/N: Inspired by RWBY Watches Classic Movies by Old Wolf Logan. **

Ruby awoke with a jolt and a gasp. She looked around, but couldn't really see anything other than pure darkness. The girl waited for what felt like ages for her eyes to adjust to the darkness, but made no progress, though she was sitting in an admittedly comfortable seat, so she couldn't really complain.

"Hello?" She heard a familiar voice ask. The lights came on rather suddenly, revealing a small movie theater to the silver eyed girl. The person who had spoken had been Blake, sitting just a couple seats away from her leader. Between the two were their other two teammates, groaning and sitting up. The sudden light had woken them both. Ruby looked around and spotted the remainder of team RNJR on Ruby's other side.

"Where the hell are we?" That sounded like Qrow behind her.

"That's a… good question." Ozpin spoke without Oscar beside the birdman. He seemed equally confused as to how he was back in the body he'd had prior to Oscar. The farm boy himself was present as well, sitting on the opposite side of Qrow with Maria. Just beside them was Sun and Neptune, but the rest of their team was apparently absent.

"Is that everyone?" A voice spoke from the front of the room. Ruby turned back to look at the person, but found it to be only a disembodied voice. "Looks like it. Sorry about all this, but I think you could all use a break anyway." The audience stared at the source of the voice, hoping for whoever it was to show themselves. "I usually don't manifest myself in these sorts of things, but I see no other option at this point in time. And I'm not gonna be long either. You're gonna watch a cool movie starring you and the people you know. Why? Why not? That's it from me. Enjoy the show."

"Hey!" Jaune shouted, "wait a minute, you can't just—!"

"Shhhhhh." The voice said, "just accept it. I'll put you back when we're done here."

Jaune just sighed, realizing that there really wasn't a way out other than through.

"I mean," Ruby optimistically said, "it could be really fun!"

"Or we could be shown a compelling drama about the the flaws of mankind." Blake very suddenly said. There was a pause.

"Naw!" Yang said, dismissively waving her hand with a laugh. "I'm sure it'll be some weird movie like The 40 Year Old Huntress, or Airship!"

"Shush!" Ruby yelled, "it's starting!" The lights dimmed but the screen remained black.

"**This is the Kuroyuri refugee vessel **_**Nucklavee**_**," a voice called through the darkness,**

"That name doesn't work." Ren sourly said.

"**We are under assault—The engines are dead, life support failing. Requesting aid from any vessel within range. We are 22 jump points out of Kuroyuri!" The voice suddenly became more desperate and pleading, "our crew is made of families! We have very few soldiers here! This is not a Warcraft. We repeat! This is not a Warcraft."**

**The screen showed them a broken and flaming spaceship, floating in the vacuum and taking quite a few hits from a much larger ship. **

**Inside, Arthur Watts could be seen stepping over piles upon piles of bodies. **

"I really do hate those guys."

**The man they all knew as Cardin Winchester laid on the ground, wounded. He reached out for Watts, as if he would stop him, but lacked the strength. Watts paid no mind to him, stepping over more bodies as if they were pieces of dirty clothing discarded on his bedroom floor.**

"**Hear me," He monologued, "And rejoice. You have had the privilege of being saved by the Great Witch. You may think this is suffering, no. It is salvation. Universal scales tip toward balance because of your sacrifice. Smile… because even in death, you have become Children of Salem." **

"I don't follow." Weiss said.

"Sounds like a ritualistic mass murder." Blake said. "It's crazy talk."

"That's not crazy talk!" Ruby cut in. "This is crazy talk! Hablahshalee—!" Weiss smacked her partner on the back of the head, making the girl shut up immediately.

**The camera panned past Watts, showing Roman Torchwick standing beside them, watching Salem's silhouette as she looked out a window into the empty void,**

"**I know what it's like to lose." She said, **

"You really do not." Ozpin growled.

"**to feel so desperately that you are right, yet to fail nonetheless." The evil woman reached down and grabbed a very familiar ginger by the neck of her breastplate. **

"Nora?" Yang asked, "You got _**B**__ODIED!_"

"You don't know that!" Nora shouted back.

"Looks like you got bodied, Nora." Ruby concurred.

"I'm inclined to agree." Ren said, patting his friend's shoulder. "I'm sure you'll kick her butt later tho!"

"Really?" Nora looked at Ren with the only pair of puppy dog eyes that could ever rival Ruby's.

"Yeah," Ren said, "standard heroic archetype."

**Nora struggled feebly as Salem continued. "It's frightening. Turns the legs to jelly. I ask you, to What end? Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. And now, it's here. Or should I say… I AM." She said. **

"Wow." Jaune commented. "Full of yourself much?"

"Looks like it." Yang agreed.

**Salem held up a golden gauntlet to show that only one of the six slots on the back of its hand was occupied. It was presently occupied by a single, pink gem. She suddenly wrapped her other hand around Nora's head. Blood drooled out of the her mouth.**

"Shiny, weapon." Ruby drooled. "I wonder what it does!"

"Probably destroy life on a scale hitherto undreamt of." Ozpin told her.

"Did you seriously just say, 'hitherto undreamt Of'?" Yang asked.

"Is that seriously all you got from that sentence?" Blake exasperatedly asked her partner.

"Pretty much."

"**You talk too much." Nora taunted. Salem turned to Roman. **

"**The Tesseract. Or your sister's head. I assume you have a preference?"**

"Sister?" Ren asked, crossing his arms.

"Small resemblance." Maria pointed out. Ren nodded.

"I guess."

"**Oh," Roman cooly responded. "I do. Kill away!" **

"I really have strong feelings of dislike for Roman Torchwick." Ruby said, crossing her arms with a scowl.

"You mean you hate him?" Yang asked, hoping to simplify Ruby's statement.

"No. Hate's too strong of a word." Ruby said. "Besides, I'm trying to use twelve point words today."

"Do you have the Scrabble point values memorized?" Jaune incredulously asked.

"No." Ruby said, in a clear lie.

"Yes." Yang nodded.

**Surprise briefly glinted on Salem's face before she pressed the gem against Nora's head. The gem began to glow brightly, and the normally hyperactive ginger began to scream hoarsely. Roman tried to pretend not to care, but his cool demeanor was slowly cracking as Nora suffers. "All right, stop!" He suddenly shouted. Salem let up, and Nora sluggishly fell away, barely holding herself up on her elbows.**

"**We don't have the Tesseract," She told Salem. "It was destroyed on Kuroyuri." Roman glanced at her as if he knew something she didn't and lifted his right hand into the air, a blue, glowing cube appeared, balanced carefully on the tips of his fingers. **

"**You really are the worst brother." Nora told Roman.**

**The thief slowly walked towards Salem with the item, eyes on Nora. "I assure you, sister… the sun will shine on us again." He told her.**

"**Your optimism is misplaced, Kuroyurian." Salem simply said.**

"Is that the correct way to refer to a Kuroyuri native?" Neptune asked.

"Probably not." Sun boredly told his blue haired friend, not really caring if that was the correct answer. Ren and Nora only shrugged, not adding any real clarity to the question.

"**Well," Roman said, "for one thing; I'm not Kuroyurian. And for another… we have a dragon."**

"A what?" Weiss asked.

**Roman tackled Nora to the ground just as a yellow mass slammed into Salem. The Tesseract fell from Torchwick's grasp and skittered across the floor while Yang gave Salem some equal rights and lefts. Hazel made a move to stop this, but Watts stopped him. "Let Salem have her fun." He told the larger man just as the blonde brawler embedded Salem in the wall of the ship.**

"Kick her butt, Yang!" Ruby happily cried, pumping a fist into the air.

"I don't like what Watts said." Qrow skeptically said.

**Yang then wrapped her hands around Salem's neck, but the witch slowly pried them away. **

"That's not good." Oscar took the role of Captain Obvious this time.

**The blonde looked shocked. And Salem began to return the favor of a few hard blows to the stomach and face until she was weak enough to raised above her head and slam into the deck of the ship with a loud clang. **

"BODIED!" Nora yelled at Yang, who wouldn't meet the ginger girl's eyes.

**Nora flew in seconds later, slamming a metal bar across the witch's face, only to become immediately kicked aside and telekinetically bound underneath a pile of metal by Watts.**

"**Allfathers," Cardin muttered to himself, "let the dark magic flow through me one last… time." A funnel of light appeared from the other side of the ship, lifting Yang up and shooting her off into space.**

"EJECTED!" Ruby added, just happy to be there.

"Where is he sending me?" Yang asked, ignoring her sister and throwing her hands in the air.

"Straight to hell." Weiss jokingly answered.

"Sounds about right." Yang agreed with a nod.

"I thought so."

"**That was a mistake." Salem told him. She held her hand out and a glaive was immediately placed in her palm. She drove it through his heart without a second's hesitation, twisting it for good measure as the life slowly left his eyes.**

There was a collective gasp among the audience.

"I never really liked Cardin," Jaune said, "But I don't think he deserves that."

"**NO!" Nora cried out, "You're going to die for that!" The metal around Nora grew to encompass her mouth. Watts shushed her and kneeled before Salem, holding out the Tesseract for her. **

They all fell silent, really wanting to know what the actual hell was going on.

"**My humble personage… bows before your grandeur. No other being has ever had the might, nay the nobility, to wield not one, but two Infinity Stones. The universe lies within your grasp." He said. Salem took the cube and crushed it in her hand. Inside was a gem similar to the other one already on her gauntlet, but this one was blue. She delicately blew away the remains of its original cube state and picked up the stone, placing it next to the other gem on the glove. There was a momentary surge of energy, but it quickly passed.**

"**There are two more Stones on Remnant. Find them, my children, and bring them to me on Haven." **

"I'm so confused." Ruby said, resting her forehead on her hands.

"Welcome to every day of my life." Jaune simply told her.

**Cinder kneeled. "We will not fail you." She promised. Roman appeared behind them again.**

"You say that now…" Ruby quietly and cockily added.

"**If I might interject…" he cheerfully offered, "If you're going to Remnant, you might want a guide. I do have a bit of experience in that arena."**

"Sellout!" Qrow shouted, cupping his hands around his face.

"**If you call failure experience." Salem was wholly unimpressed by his offer.**

"Roasted!" Nora yelled.

"**I consider experience, experience. Almighty Salem, I… Roman... Prince of Kuroyuri…" he paused and looked at Nora, sharing an almost knowing look with her, "Valkyrie. The rightful King of Torchwick... God of Mischief... do hereby pledge to you, my undying fidelity." **

"What an asshole!" Ren uncharacteristically shouted.

**Nora squinted and saw that Roman was materializing a small dagger in his hand, hidden from Salem's view. **

"I take that back." Ren suddenly corrected himself.

**Roman braced himself, and suddenly thrust the blade towards the white haired woman's neck, but it was stopped by one of the stones.**

"Now you screwed up!" Sun and Neptune began chanting from the back. "Now you screwed up!"

"**Undying." Salem repeated, "You should choose your words more carefully." She twisted the dagger from his hand and tossed it aside, using the her gloved hand to grab his neck and lift him up. His feet kicked and his hands struggled against her grip. His face began to turn a sickly purple as he gave up his struggle. **

"That is a deeply disturbing sight," Weiss noted. "His eyes are bulging out of his head."

"He looks like his head is about to pop." Blake said with a disgusted look on her face.

"He's choking." Ruby said, usurping Oscar's starring role as Captain Obvious.

"**You… will… never… be… a… god." He told her. She responded by crushing his neck in her hands, killing him and dropping his body in front of Nora. **

"Two confirmed dead people now!" Maria bellowed, pulling out a chalkboard and putting down two tally marks.

"**No resurrections this time." Were her parting words before she raised the gauntlet and whisked her and her disciples away. Nora was immediately freed from her bonds and visibly distressed by having seen Roman die. She weakly crawled to his body, shedding tears for all that she had just lost.**

**Then the ship went boom.**

They all jumped at the unexpected explosion. Except for Nora, who thought it was beautiful. But Nora's crazy, and she scares me.

**The teams watched as the same funnel of light that had carried Yang away minutes ago continued its journey, past suns and moons, until it entered Remnant's atmosphere, barreling down over Beacon.**

"A-ha!" Yang shouted, "not going to hell just yet!" She told her white haired teammate.

**Ozpin and Port slowly walked down a large, grand staircase. The moustached Of The two was dressed as a monk, and the other in more casual attire. **

"I don't like that imagery of Peter in a robe." Ozpin commented.

"Thanks for the additional imagery of him in a bathrobe." Weiss said, gagging.

"I need bleach for my eyes." Yang added. "Because I thought about that because you said that. Thanks, assholes."

"**Seriously?" Ozpin asked Port. "You don't have any money?" **

"**Attachment to the material is detachment from the spiritual." Port quickly responded. **

"**I'll tell the guys at the deli. Maybe they'll make you a metaphysical ham on rye." Oz wryly told him.**

The real Ozpin thought that was way funnier than it actually was.

**Port stopped, "I think I have two hundred."**

"**Lien?" **

"**Rupees."**

"**Which is?"**

"**A lien and a half." **

**Oz sighed, "What do you want?"**

"**I wouldn't say no to a tuna melt." He said, just as the two reached the bottom of the stairs. **

"Just like old times, eh?" Qrow said, elbowing Ozpin with a dumb grin on his face.

"I stopped falling for that a decade ago." Ozpin dryly said.

"Professor Port has been doing that for ten years!?" Ruby asked. "He told me he lost his wallet and it would be four years before he could get a new one!"

"No," Ozpin said, "he's been doing it for fifteen years and he was merely manipulating the kindest soul at Beacon for free food."

"If he's been doing it for fifteen years," Sun began, "and you stopped falling for that ten years ago, does that mean you fell for it for five years before you caught on?" Ozpin chose to ignore that, rather than destroy his own pride in admitting that he had fallen for such a dumb ploy for half a decade.

**Their hands flew to shield their heads as the funnel of light crashed through their ceiling and into their staircase. A cloak flew onto Oz's shoulders, changing his outfit to a blue version of what Port wore. **

"You a Jedi or somethin', Oz?" Qrow asked.

**The both swiveled around, looking down into the crater to see Yang, whose eyes were slowly fading from red to lilac. **

"**Salem's coming." She panted, "she's coming." Oz looked over a Port.**

"**Who?" They both asked.**

"I don't know Salem in this one, apparently." Ozpin notes.

**Hard cut to a large A, behind the words "The Avengers." The words faded, but the large A stayed. "Infinity War" soon replaced the original title. **

"War?" Ruby nervously asked.

"That doesn't bode well." Blake added.


	2. Infinity War Part 2

**A/N: For the record, by the way, I've been writing this ALL DAY! I just want to play video games, but I gotta finish this chapter!**

**When the logo disappeared, they saw Ruby, walking backwards and talking to Weiss in a public park. Both seemed to be wearing athletic wear, as if they were on a jog previously. Ruby had a sweatshirt tied around her neck, hanging off her back like a cape. **

"**You're totally rambling." Weiss told her.**

"Ruby does that from time to time," Yang teased. The real Ruby pouted, causing her sister to ruffle her hair.

"**No I'm not." Ruby defended.**

"**Lost me." Weiss quickly shot back.**

"**How are you unfamiliar with the concept of nanoparticles?" Ruby asked incredulously.**

"**I'm not unfamiliar with it," Weiss huffed and crossed her arms, "I'm just unfamiliar with the logistics of it."**

Blake's eyes widened, "Ruby is apparently schooling Weiss on something for once!"

"Hey!" Her red and white teammates indignantly cried.

"**So you're unfamiliar with it!" Ruby triumphantly declared. Weiss just defeatedly shrugged. "Essentially, I have a few in here," she pointed to a large triangular device on her chest. And they can multiply themselves on an exponentially large scale, and each one has to be directed by a central control to do what I want them to do."**

"What?" Jaune asked, way more confused than the onscreen Weiss was presently.

"It's not that complicated." Ruby shrugged.

"**And you've lost me again." Weiss said. Ruby threw her hands up in a exasperation. "I just don't understand how these things can duplicate two million times over the span of about ten seconds, and without any errors in assembly!" **

"I don't understand the confusion!" Ruby yelled at the screen. "It's a fairly simple concept!"

"One that we presently lack the understanding of to even begin to attempt such a thing!" The real Weiss yelled back.

"**You know what?" Ruby asked, "It doesn't matter! You and Neptune are gonna have a nice dinner tonight, show off that Harry Win-stone of yours, and in due time, I'll be your Maid Of Honor." **

"Heh?" Weiss asked in a rather humorous manner, looking over at Neptune in the back, who was intensely blushing. "In this, Neptune and I… are engaged?"

"Seriously, though," Ruby said, " I would be your Maid of Honor, right?"

"Well, first off, I don't know if I could ever see myself getting married," Weiss said, "And second, do you even have to ask?! You're like my only friends, who else would be my bridesmaids!"

**Weiss chuckled heartily, but soon changed her face to a look of empathy "I'm really sorry about what happened with you and-." **

"**I don't want to talk about that right now." Ruby quickly interjected, her voice quickly transitioning into a warning tone, almost daring Weiss to push, promising that any further push would result in an outburst.**

"Looks like Ruby has an ex!" Yang teased in a sing songy voice.

"I do not!" Ruby huffed, crossing her arms.

"No, yeah," Blake added, "you absolutely do." Ruby looked at JNR for their opinions. They all just looked at her and nodded. Her shoulders fell, and she huffed again.

"**You still have your sister's temper." Weiss said with a friendly laugh.**

"**Ruby Rose!" Ozpin's voice commanded from offscreen, making the pair jump. Behind the man was a fiery and spinning circle, showing the same staircase Yang had crashed through minutes ago. "I'm Doctor Ozpin. I need you to come with me." Ruby was almost speechless. Almost. **

"Doctor, eh?" Qrow nudged Ozpin with a chuckle.

"You'd be surprised," Ozpin simply said, straightening his posture as if to imply he actually was a Doctor.

"**I'm sorry," she said, "You giving out tickets or something?"**

"She definitely takes after her sister, all right." Maria chuckled.

"No, that's all Uncle Qrow right there," Qrow added, pointing to himself with a proud look on his face.

"**We need your help." He gruffly told her. "Look, it's not overselling it to say that the fate of the universe is at stake."**

"You have my attention, sir." Ruby gave her on screen counterpart her real thoughts, but her on screen counterpart had different thoughts.

"**And who's we?" Ruby skeptically demanded, only to see her own sister step out from behind the Sorcerer Supreme. **

**To say Ruby looked surprised would have been an understatement. "Y-Yang?" She asked.**

"Long time no see, it would seem." Ozpin commented with a warm smile.

"**Ruby." Yang simply responded, wrapping her little sister in a hug.**

**It cut to show Oz and Port explaining the situation to Ruby. Port had created a visual demonstration, via magic. **

"**From the dawn of the universe," Port dramatically narrated.**

The students all groaned, hating Port's lectures more than anything and fully expecting him to regale them with the tales of his youth.

"**There was nothing! Then, boom!" A large, fake explosion appeared in between the two wizards. "The Big Bang sent six elemental crystals, hurtling across the virgin universe. These Infinity Stones each control an essential aspect of existence." The Five Of The Six stones of varying colors appeared on screen. **

"**Space. Reality. Power. Soul. Mind." Oz said, lighting up each stone to demonstrate as he said their name. Finally, he turned and opened up his Eye Shaped Necklace to show a green gem. "And Time." Against the Far wall, on a couch sat Ruby, very attentive to this all.**

A sigh of relief swept through the theater. Scientists have always wondered, 'can you make teenagers weep tears of joy by ending a monologue consisting of exposition?' The answer is yes, as long as it is given by the worst teacher they've ever had.

"**Tell me her name again." She simply said. Her eyes unfocused as she stared off in deep thought.**

"**Salem." Yang said. "She's a plague, Ruby. She invades planets, takes what she wants and wipes out half the population! She sent Torchwick. The attack on Vale. That's her!" **

"It looks like that Salem is much worse than ours." Jaune said.

"That's assuming that Salem shares our Salem's immortality." Ren said.

"**This is it." Ruby said to herself, "What's our timeline?"**

"It's like she was expecting this." Maria noted. The others nodded in agreement.

"Maybe she was told a prophecy of something like this." Neptune suggested.

"No, dude." Sun told his blue haired friend, "Prophecies are lame. I bet someone told her that they were sending this chick to beat the brakes off them or somethin'!"

"That's the same thing!" Neptune annoyedly told him. The monkey boy, just kinda of waved his hand dismissively.

"**No telling." Yang said, pacing anxiously all the while, "she has the Power and Space Stones, that already makes her the strongest creature in the whole universe. If she gets her hands, on all six Stones, Ruby…" **

"**She can destroy life on a scale hitherto undreamt Of." Oz finished. Ruby nonchalantly leaned against a cauldron, using it to stretch as though she was content on continuing with her run. **

"Huh." Yang simply said, remembering Ozpin's theory about the stones earlier.

"**Did you seriously just say, 'hitherto undreamt Of'?" She quipped.**

"That's eerily accurate." Oscar pointed out.

Yang shrugged, and so did Ozpin.

"**Are you seriously leaning on the Cauldron of the Cosmos?" Ozpin annoyedly asked.**

"The what?" Jaune asked.

"You know!" Nora said, "The Cauldron of the Cosmos!" Jaune just gave her a blank look. "The Cauldron… From the Cosmos!"

"Oh, yeah…" Jaune said unconvincingly, " the-the Cauldron of the… Condos!"

"**Is that what this is...?" Ruby asked in a condescending manner. Ozpin's cloak immediately reached out and smacked her arm, causing her to fall back into a regular standing position. Ruby looked surprised by the audacity of it, but then immediately offended. She straightened herself, wiping the offended look from her face. "I'm going to allow that. If Salem needs all six, why don't we just stick this one down the garbage disposal?" She asked.**

"That's… a great point." Weiss said.

"I know," Ruby said, "I'm nothing but great points!"

"Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves!" Qrow put a hand out, causing Ruby to pout in an adorable fashion.

"**No can do." Ozpin quickly said.**

"**We swore an oath to protect the Time Stone with our lives." Port continued.**

"And that's another great point!" Ozpin shot back.

"Oz 1, Ruby 1," Blake said. Maria pulled her chalkboard back out and created a smaller scoreboard for Ruby-Oz Sarcasm off.

"**And I swore off dairy," Ruby said, "But then, Jen and Berry's named a flavor after me, so…"**

Maria put another one down for Ruby, waiting for Ozpin's response.

**Ozpin looked down at his feet, "Rose Raving Hazelnuts."**

"**Not bad."**

"**A bit…" his face contorted as he looked for the right word, "chalky."**

"No points awarded on that comeback!" Maria declared. Oz threw his hands up and Ruby pumped her fist of in victory.

"**Burning Dragon Double Fudge is our favorite." Port interjected, causing Yang to do a double take beside him.**

"**That's a thing?" She asked, going ignored.**

"**Whatever." Ruby said. "Point is; things change." **

"**Our oath to protect the Time Stone cannot change." Ozpin firmly told her. "This stone may be the best chance we have against Salem."**

Ozpin looked over at Maria, who simply shrugged and didn't give the wizard another point.

"**And still conversely, it may also be her best chance against us!" **

"Point Ruby!" Jaune declared.

"I'd like to make a request for an unbiased referee!" Oz told Maria.

"Request denied." The old woman told him. He deflated.

"**If we don't do our jobs."**

"**What is your job, exactly?" Ruby hostilely and condescendingly asked, "besides making balloon animals?" **

"Point Ruby!" Qrow declared. "Get shit on, Oz!"

Maria added another point for Ruby, as Ozpin just laughed and shook his head.

"**Protecting your reality, bitch." Ozpin smugly told her. **

Yang turned her head back at the real Ozpin like a woman possessed. "What did Fake you just call Fake Ruby?"

"Normally," Qrow said, "I'd agree with you, Yang and we'd take Oz over here out back and cave his skull in," Ozpin gulped nervously, "But Fake Ruby kinda earned it." There was a long pause as they awaited Yang's response. She laughed.

"I guess you're right!"

"**Okay, guys," Yang suddenly interjected, breaking up the argument. "Could we table this discussion right now? The fact is that we have this stone. We know **_**where it is**_**. Penny is out there somewhere with the Mind Stone and we have to find her **_**now.**_**"**

"Penny!" Ruby happily said.

"Isn't that the girl who—?" Sun was suddenly cut off by RWBY's leader,

"NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENED!"

Sun raised his hands submissively, scared out of his wits by the girl.

**Ruby's eyes fell to her feet, "Yeah," she awkwardly said, "that's the… thing."**

"NOTHING BAD EVER HAPPENED!" Ruby repeated, much louder this time.

"**What do you mean?" Yang asked.**

"**Two weeks ago, Penny turned off her transponder. She's offline." Ruby admitted.**

"**What?" Yang incredulously asked, "Ruby, you lost another super bot?!"**

"ANOTHER?" They all asked in concerned unison. Ruby laughed nervously.

"Wouldn't it be absolutely crazy if I accidentally made a murderous robot that I may or may not have lost at some point because it created a time machine and went off on a rant about Sarah Connor?" She rambled off. The look the adults gave her can only be described as terrified concern that she may have done something of the sorts.

"But that didn't happen, right?" Ozpin asked, sweating like a whore in church.

"N-Nope!" Ruby nervously chuckled. "Sarah Connor is A-Okay! Not dead at all! STOP INTERROGATING ME, YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" All heads turned backed to screen, desperate to brush off this outburst as a mere joke.

"**I didn't lose her," Ruby told her sister, "She's more than that. She's evolving!"**

"**Who could find Penny then?" Ozpin asked. Ruby walked away for a second, thinking to herself.**

"**Shit." She said quietly to herself, "Probably Jaune Arc." **

"Uh Oh." Jaune said, "that doesn't sound good."

"Yeah," Nora agreed, "she doesn't sound happy to have to asked you for anything.

**Ozpin sighed in exasperation, "Oh, great!" **

"**Maybe… But…" She sighed.**

"**Call him." Yang told her sister.**

"Big bet that's her ex!" Yang blurted out.

"For the millionth time, Yang!" Ruby shouted, "I don't have an ex! Uncle Qrow, back me up here!"

"No, yeah, I'm gonna have to agree with Yang on this one. Sounds like blondie here split with you."

"Sarah Connor." Ruby growled.

"I mean," Qrow stammered, "Yang, don't be ridiculous! Your sister doesn't have an ex! Stop antagonizing your sister, Yang!" He suddenly pulled a phrase he'd heard Tai say a thousand times when Yang teased Ruby, who simply smiled happily as she turned back to the screen.

"**It's not that easy!" Ruby told her, "God, we haven't caught up in a spell, have we?"**

**Yang shook her head, "No."**

"**The Avengers broke up. We're toast." Yang looked rather surprised and slightly let down.**

"**Broke up? Like a band? Like the Achieve-Men?" Yang asked.**

"The Achieve-Men broke up?" Yang sadly asked.

"Not that I'm aware of," Jaune said, earning a lot of odd stares from his friends, "I have seven sisters! Of course I've listened to them!" He backpedaled to his default defense which was in no way true, they were his favorite band, and his sisters all hated their music, but his friends didn't need to know that.

"**Cap and I fell out hard," Ruby told her, anxiously biting her lip and contorting her face as if it hurt her to say this, "we're not on speaking terms."**

"Cap?" Maria stifled laughter, "oh, they fuckin'!" Qrow nodded rapidly, as to agree with Maria that they were indeed… fucking.

"I think the more accurate way to say that would be to say that they _were… _involved romantically." Ozpin said, choosing not to refer to the act of sexual intercourse between two underage students of his.

"**Ruby, listen to me," The elder sister pleaded, "Nora's gone. Salem is coming. It doesn't matter who you're talking to or not." Ruby hesitated, before pulling out a cellular phone.**

"I'm not dead!" Nora shouted, "I'm just…"

"Unalive?" Jaune asked

"No longer with us?" Ren asked.

"Resting in another plane of existence?" Blake asked.

"Dead?" Sun asked.

"Not here right now!" Nora finished.

"Your ship exploded." Yang said.

"Okay?" Nora asked, as if that required more evidence.

"With you in it."

"And?"

"You were already injured."

"I don't see your point. I'm a bad bitch, you can't kill me!"

"**Flip phone." she muttered to herself. Ruby hovered over the call button, but paused, distracted by an unusual rumbling. **

"What's that sound?" Blake asked.

"Probably Nothing." Weiss waved off.

"Something's wrong, I can feel it!" Qrow shouted, "It's just this feeling I've got, like something about to happen, but I don't know what!"

"If that means what I think it means, we're in trouble, big trouble!" Ruby added.

**Objects around them shook loudly as she looked around. She turned back to Oz, whose bangs were flipping back and forth in the wind, despite them being inside. "Say, Doc," she called over to the Wizard, "You wouldn't happen to be moving your hair, would you?" His eyes craned up to look at what she was talking about.**

"Why—why would someone use magic just move their forelock?" Ozpin asked.

"You Tell me," Yang said, "after all, you are a mystical magical forelock yourself!" Ozpin sighed defeatedly as everyone groaned.

"Sorry everyone, I forgot we have the Pun Patrol in here." He said, facepalming.

"No," Blake hissed, "you should have known!"

"**Not at the moment, no." he told her. Ruby looked up at the hole Yang had created in the roof when she entered, noticing debris flying by, and they all faced the door, standing in a line of four rather heroically. She strode over to the door, and opened it up, stepping out into the Vale streets. **

**A/N: Welp, this has been all I've done today. I scattered countless references to other things in this one chapter. Some of them hella obscure, but hey, if anyone thinks they can find them all, I'll bet you can't. I'm gonna go play video games.**


	3. Infinity War Part 3

**People screamed as they ran down the chaotic streets, wind pushing debris and smoke along after them. A woman fell nearly at her feet and Ruby helped her up. **

"What's going on?" Weiss asked.

"I suspect that Salem has come for the other two stones," Ozpin told her, "it does not bode well for myself, Port, Miss Rose and Miss Xiao Long either,"

"**You okay?" She asked. The woman ignored her and ran away, screaming as a car crashed into a pole behind Ruby. "Help him!" Ruby shouted back, "Port, Doc!"**

"Can we just take a minute to appreciate how much of a treasure Ruby is?" Nora asked.

"No," Blake said, "you have to wait until she's not around or else she gets really mad."

"Yeah," Yang confirmed, "we typically just kinda talk about her behind her back, but we say nice things instead of bad things."

"I hate you people." Ruby huffed.

"No you don't." Weiss said.

"How would you know?"

"Because you leave notes on all of our pillows every day, telling us how much you value our friendship." Blake said. Ruby sank down in her seat, and crossed her arms.

"Don't out me like that." She quietly said.

"**Go!' Yang shouted, she and Port running to the car, "Got it!" **

**Ruby strode down the sidewalk as she whipped a pair of sunglasses onto her face, "Velvet," she shouted over the loud, electrical humming, "What am I looking at?"**

"Does she just have Velvet on the line, 24/7?" Jaune asked.

"I think it's an AI." Ren told him.

"**Not sure," Velvet's voice came from Ruby's sunglasses, "I'm working on it." Ruby spun around, walking backwards, as she and Oz fought against the current of civilians all running to safety. **

"**Hey!" She yelled at the wizard "You might wanna put that Time Stone in your back pocket, Doc!" Bands of fiery, orange and red spells wrapped around his forearms, readied for a fight.  
**"Yeah!" Qrow agreed, "don't give Salem exactly what she wants!

"**Might wanna use it!"Oz told her. Ruby put her back against a large building and peeked around a corner, pulling herself back as an awning flipped past her. She checked again and nonchalantly skipped over to the street. **

Yang started laughing hysterically when Ruby did that. To everyone else, it looked like she just walked across, but Yang just found something really funny about how she did it. "The—The Little hop!" She managed to wheeze out, before immediately beginning to loudly wheeze again.

**She looked up and saw a big, mechanical donut floating above the street.**

**Cut to Oscar on a school bus. **

"It's me!" Oscar yelled out, having been mostly quiet throughout this whole thing.

"Let's get a Dead Pool going!" Qrow suddenly shouted. "A hundred lien says Oscar doesn't make it out alive and neither does Oz."

"Fifty says Ruby bites it!" Sun added.

"Hey!" Ruby indignantly shouted, "Ten says Sun goes too! With another five on Salem!"

"I'm not even in this!" Sun yelled back. Ruby narrowed her eyes at him.

"Yet."

"Five hundred says Salem wins." Weiss suddenly blurted out. Silence for a moment as they all thought about that.

"You're on!" Qrow yelled.

**The hairs on his arm stood up and his head whipped to look at the city, where he saw the same spaceship Ruby had been looking at. His hand reached around and he started tapping someone in the seat in front of him on the face. **

Jaune thought Oscar's friend looked familiar, but failed to be able to place it.

"**Adrian," Oscar said, "hey. I need you to cause a distraction." Adrian turned around, and saw the spaceship behind Oscar.**

"Wah?" Jaune asked. Adrian looked like he was in high school in this, but Oscar only looked a couple years older than he was presently.

"**Holy shit! We're all gonna die! There's a spaceship!" He shouted, running to the back and inducing a panic, and causing the distraction Oscar needed. **

"So," Yang asked, "did he do that to help the distraction? Or was that his legitimate reaction?"

"Yes." Jaune simply said.

"What?"

"Yes."

**The boy put some kind of device on his wrist, and it expanded over his entire wrist and onto his palm. He flicked his wrist and a web stuck to the emergency exit of the bus. He pulled open the latch and zipped out.**

"I'm sorry," Oscar suddenly said, "But what just happened there?"

"Looks like you just came out of your wrists." Sun bluntly said. Ozpin shook his head and stood up, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Nope!" He yelled, "I'm done here!"

"Come back here! Where are you going?" Ruby yelled after him.

"There's a lot of stuff to see in this life…" Ozpin said, "I'm not wasting it here!"

"You're immortal!" Maria yelled back. He paused for a second.

"Still." Suddenly, Ozpin found himself returned to his seat in an instant. The same person who brought them there had returned him to his seat. He sighed, and hung his head.

'**What's the matter with you kids?" The bus driver suddenly asked, "You never seen a spaceship before?" The bus driver sounded and looked a lot like Ren, but not quite. His hair looked a bit more like Sun's, and he wore a nice pair of sunglasses. **

"I don't know why," Ruby said, "But he looks familiar."

"Yeah," Jaune said, "But I just can't put my finger on it."

"It's probably nothin'!" Yang said, waving her hand dismissively.

**Meanwhile, Oscar clung to the side of the bus, before pulling a red mask over his face. It had black webs on the design and large, white eyes that curved up to a point near the top.**

Qrow laughed hysterically at the mask. "That's the dumbest shit I've ever seen!" He said.

"I think it's kinda cool!" Ruby said.

"I like it too." Jaune agreed. Maria looked over at Qrow and waggled her eyebrows, pointing at the two. The birdman simply furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.

**Back to Ruby, as the girl bounded towards the spaceship. "Velvet," She said to the voice in her glasses, "evac everyone south of 43rd Street, notify first responders."**

"**Will do." Velvet told her, just as Oz used a spell to clear the dust, smugly winking at Ruby, who was begrudgingly amused for a split second.**

"Oh, Oh, Oh; it's magic! Ya kno-oh-ow!" Ozpin sang entirely off-key, signifying how broken of a man he was.

"Never believe it's not so." Qrow quietly mumbled.

"I jus—I just wanna die already." Ozpin quietly said, resting the back of his head against the top of his backrest, causing him to be looking at the ceiling. Qrow patted his back, pulling him in so close that only he and Oz could hear the conversation, "We're when _I _say we're done." He quietly told Oz.

**Watts and Hazel suddenly came down from the ship by transmat, and Watts immediately started monologuing like a prick.**

"**Hear me and rejoice." he said, "You are about to die at the hands of the Children of Salem. Be thankful, that your meaningless lives are now contributing to-!"**

"**I'm sorry," Ruby yelled in a familiarly Qrow fashion, "Remnant is closed today! You better pack it up and get out of here!" **

"That is 110% Uncle Qrow right there!" Ruby proudly said.

"You say that like it's a good thing." Weiss told her leader, who promptly hit Weiss on the back of the head.

**Watts looked to Ozpin with a certainly condescending expression.**

"**Stonekeeper," Watts asked, 'Does this chattering animal speak for you?"**

"Chattering animal?!" Ruby said, clearly offended, "chattering animal?! Do you know who I am! I-I-I have a scythe!"

"**Certainly not." Ozpin told the man. "I speak for myself." He readied magical shields with his fists, stepping forward. "But you're trespassing in this city and on this planet." Port immediately emulated Oz.**

"**It means get lost, Corpirate!" Ruby shouted.**

Yang snorted, "The sarcasm! It's too great!"

"**She exhausts me." Watts told Hazel, who grunted two foreign syllables back, "Bring me the stone." Hazel dropped his huge hammer and dragged it along as he closed in on the four. **

"**Yang," Ruby said, "You want a piece?" **

"Hell yeah!" Yang said, getting hyped.

"Didn't you get bodied last time?" Nora asked.

"Shut up!"

"**No, not really," Yang anxiously said, "But when do I ever get what I want?"**

"Yang isn't quite Yang in this one." Blake observed. "She really doesn't like fighting."

"**That's right." Ruby said, patting her shoulder. Yang strained, her eyes turning pinkish and her hair producing a few sparks. "Been a while. Good to have you, sis."**

"Performance issues much?" Nora asked.

"I wanna hurt you right now." Yang told the ginger.

"**I just need to concentrate here for one second." Yang shushed her sister, and strained again, but nothing happened still. "Come on, come on, man!"**

"**Where's your girl?" Ruby asked.**

"Does Yang have like multiple personalities?" Weiss asked. "One For Yang And one for her semblance?"

"Makes sense, I guess." Qrow said with a shrug.

"**I don't know." Yang said tiredly, "We've sorta been having a thing."**

"**There's no time for a thing."**

"**I know."**

"**That's the thing right there, let's go." Yang let out a loud grunt, but still failed to release her power. Ozpin stared at them both in disbelief. Ruby caught his look and turned to her sister. "You're embarrassing me in front of the wizards!" Ruby hissed under her breath.**

A resounding chuckle from all of the room's occupants.

"Too pure!" Yang said, feigning death.

"**Rubes," Yang said, giving up, "I'm sorry. Either I can't or she won't."**

"**It's okay." Ruby said, "Hey, stand down." She turned to Port, "Keep an eye on her, thank you."**

"**I have her." Port said, putting his magic shield in front of Yang. **

"**Damn it." Yang quietly cursed.**

**Ruby quickly pulled the strings on her jacket, making it almost skin tight around her, giving them a good look at the blue light on her chest. **

Sun did a kind of cat call whistle at the girl's form, earning a threatening glare from all of the females in the room. Neptune quickly needed to make them all think he was with them and not with Sun, so he quickly punched his best friend in the balls. Sun doubled over in pain, but understood. It was probably half the strength of what Yang was going to hit him with. At least this way, he would still have them afterwards.

**Ruby double tapped it, and pulled off her shades as a red and gold armor materialized around her, repurposing the sunglasses as a part of the armor. **

Ruby twitched And drooled over how awesome the tech was. "Soooooo cooool." She cooed, "Ruby want."

"Then Ruby needs to figure out how to make it herself." Weiss told her leader.

"If Fake Me can, then real me can!" Ruby declared.

"This is science fiction, Ruby." Weiss quickly pointed out.

"Yeah? And so were Scythe-guns until someone made them!" Ruby countered. Weiss opened her mouth to give a rebuttal, but found no real flaw in Ruby's logic.

**A shield grew on one arm and she blocked Hazel's first attack, the donning a set of blasters on her hands and a few more that sprouted from her back and floated around her to provide a bit more firepower. **

"Mama need!" Ruby's mouth was aggressively watering just looking at the capabilities of this awesome armor Fake Ruby had made.

**Hazel was launched towards Watts, who simply gestured and deflected his massive companion into some cars.**

"Tossed him aside like hot garbage." Qrow shook his head in disappointment at that dreadful man. "I get that you're an asshole, but at least have some respect for your brethren!"

**Yang ducked, "Where'd that come from?" She shouted. Ruby turned back, seeing a chance to impress her older sister.**

"Maybe stopping to talk might not be the best combat strategy." Ozpin commented.

"We do it all the time!" Nora waved a hand dismissively, "and we're fine!"

"Barely!"

"I swear to God," Ruby yelled back, "if you two start arguing, I will turn this theater around!" Ozpin sunk down in his seat, not liking being reprimanded by one of his students. But he couldn't help but notice how the young leader's team all sat up straight when she yelled at him in that terrifying, maternal voice.

"**It's nano-tech. You like it? A little somet-!" Watts suddenly used the ground to launch Ruby into far into the sky and attacked the rest with uprooted trees and other debris. **

"To the moon!" Sun joked, watching Ruby sail into the sky,

"Too soon." Neptune said.

**Port provided a shield as Oz turned back to Yang.**

"**Dr. Xiao Long," he said, **

"Wait, What?!" Weiss immediately questioned the idea of Yang having a doctorate, "Did he just say; 'DOCTOR Xiao Long?"

"Yeah." Yang asked, "And? I thought we'd already established that the alternate me has several personalities, one of them is smart me and the other one is Real Me." Weiss facepalmed, and the two sisters high fived behind her back.

"**if the rest of your fiery friend won't be joining us…" he suddenly created a portal that dropped Yang right back where he'd found Ruby earlier. Yang fell from the portal onto the grass, as half a taxi fell on her, barely managing to not crush her to death. **

"Handle with care!" Yang slowly shouted at the onscreen Wizard of Oz. "Why is that so hard for people to understand?"

"Maybe he thought you said, 'handle with car'?" Jaune pointed out, earning an open hand strike on his arm from Ruby.

"Don't encourage her!" The younger girl scorned the blonde boy.

**Meanwhile, Ozpin and Port readied their shields, but Ruby's armor carried her between them, knocking both wizards out of the way and she shot a laser out of her palm, launching an SUV at Watts. **

"I CAN FLY?!" Ruby screeched, transforming into floating Chibi Ruby as she salivated over the awesome armor,

"Can't you already fly?" Blake asked.

"Not like that," Ruby said, giddily bouncing in her seat, "not unless I wanna go splat!"

**He simply waved his hand, slicing the vehicle in half and letting the two halves fly past him. **

"**Gotta get that stone outta here!" Ruby called back to Oz.**

"**It stays with me!" Oz sternly told her.**

"**Exactly. Bye." They saw Ruby's face inside the armor, her HUD laying out aim assist among other things. **

"Aim assist is cheating, Ruby!" Nora huffed. "Then it's not a fair fight!"

**The girl spun around, ducking and weaving through cars, street signs and whatever else Watts could throw at her. She almost made it to the man, but was cut short when Hazel's hammer came out of nowhere, hitting her in the side and sending her through a building at insanely high speeds. **

There was a collective wince from just about everyone in the room.

"That looked like that hurt." Jaune said, becoming the new Captain Obvious.

**She landed in the park Oz had sent Yang to, plowing through the ground and fetching up against a rushed to Ruby, resting, armored form.**

"You good, kid?" Qrow voiced his own questions at the onscreen Ruby.

"I've been hit with worse!" Ruby proudly said.

"Yeah?" Yang said, raising an eyebrow. "Have you been thrown through a building yet?"

Ruby suddenly found the ground a lot more interesting. "Well, Um, Maybe just the once."

"WHAT?!" Her teammates all shouted in unison. Ruby sunk into her seat, not even bothering to attempt any kind of answers for the overlapping questions.

"**Ruby," She said in a panicky tone, "you okay? How we doing? Good? Bad?"**

"**Really, really good." Ruby tiredly said, "Really good. Do you plan on helping out?"**

"**I'm trying!" Yang indignantly whined, "She won't come out!"**

"Wow," Yang said, "Fake me is a pussy!"

**A hammer hurtled at them both, but only Ruby saw it.**

"Hammer!" Maria anxiously pointed out.

"**Hammer." She casually said, grabbing Yang and pushing her out of the way. Ruby fired a more focused laser at Hazel, who deflected it, causing it to refract off his hammer. Energy beams fired every which way, slicing through a few things, as well as a tree right beside Yang, who barely managed to evade it.**

"Yang is gonna get hurt in the crossfire!" Jaune observed.

**The blonde crawled out from under the branches, desperate and confused, "Come on, Dragon. What are you doing to me?" She started slapping her face multiple times. "Come out, come out! Come out!" Only one of her eyes turned red, and half of her hair lit ablaze. **

"**NOOOOOOO!" The Dragon yelled at her, immediately disappearing as Yang exhaustedly fell back into her tree. **

"Whoa!" They collectively said.

"That was…" Yang paused, "awesome! Where do I sign to make me be more like that?"

"**What do you mean, 'no'?!" She angrily asked.**

**Back to the fight, Ruby was pretty quickly knocked down by Hazel, who raised his hammer above his head, about to deliver a decisive blow that would most likely cut Ruby's role in this short.**

"Get your lien ready!" Sun called, "because Sun's about to get PAID!"

**He swung it down at her, but it was suddenly stopped. **

"Dammit!" Sun angrily cursed, "That was my chance!"

**Oscar's mask peeked around the hammer.**

"**Hey, man." Oscar greeted. "What's up, Miss Rose!"**

"Bleh!" Ruby cringed, "Miss Rose? Ew. Am I like, his teacher or somethin'?"

"**Kid." Ruby said, casually greeting him. "Where'd you come from?"**

"**Field trip to-" Hazel suddenly grabbed OScar and tossed him aside, "MoMA!" **

"MoMA?" Oscar asked, turning to Ozpin.

"Museum Of Modern Arts." Ozpin explained.

"Oh."

"Yeah," Yang said, "it's pretty lame."

"It is not!" Weiss said, trying to have at least some semblance of class.

"It totally is!" Ruby agreed with her older sister.

"It's bold and brash!"

"It belongs in the trash!"

**The boy recovered rather quickly, getting to his feet and continuing to assist Ruby in her fight. "What's this guy's problem, Miss Rose?" Oscar asked.**

"Stop it!" Ruby yelled, "I dun like it!"

"I've called you that as Oscar before," Ozpin pointed out.

"Don't do that anymore then!"

"**He's from space," Ruby told him, "he came here to steal a necklace from a wizard."**

"She's immortal and she came here to steal a lamp from her Wizard Ex-husband" Yang repeated, choosing to appropriate Fake Ruby's wording for their own situation.

**Meanwhile, Oz and Port continued to fight Watts, who lifted several bricks from the ground and turned them into sharp points, sending them flying at the wizards. Oz caught them all with a portal and Port sent them back at Watts with another. **

"Wizard teamwork!" Ruby said, raising her fist in excitement.

"If only Peter actually believed in the idea of teamwork." Ozpin sighed.

"He did pretty well with Dr Oobleck at Beacon." Neptune said. Sun just leaned over to his friend and loudly said two very important words in his ear.

"THEY FUCKIN'!" Neptune was speechless, looking over at Ozpin, who simply shrugged.

"I don't know, probably." He told them.

**Watts effortlessly lifted a car to block it, but one spike still grazed his head. Angered, watts immediately broke a fire hydrant, using its stream to send Port flying several meters back and knocking him out of the fight. **

"Press F to pay respects." Nora said, receiving a chorus of "F" from the others in the theater.

**Oz sent a whip of magical energy to bind Watts' hands and yanked on it, but Watts flew forward with the pull and pinned Oz upside-down on a building, using the bricks to trap the wizard.**

"**Your powers are quaint." Watts teased, " You must be popular with children." **

"Already did that one, bud." Ruby casually told the screen.

"Well," Jaune said, "you mentioned the balloon animals, he just touched back on it."

"It's the same joke!"

"Well," Blake offered, "Moreso a running gag."

"Nobody asked you!" Ruby pointed an angry finger at Blake. "Same joke!"

"But—!"

"SAME! JOKE!"

**He tried to grab the Amulet from Ozpin's neck, but jerked away when it burnt his hand.**

"**It's a simple spell, but quite unbreakable." Ozpin taunted.**

"When you forget to wear green on Saint Patrick's Day, But you have aura…" Yang immediately memed.

"It's a simple spell, but quite unbreakable." Ozpin finished out the meme, having long lost his resolve to resist the meme.

"**Then I'll take it off your corpse!" Watts vehemently hissed, pulling Oz away from the building and throwing him to the ground. The wizard gestured to use the time stone, but utility cables pinned his arms first, interrupting the spell and closing the eye. Another cable began to wind around his torso, tightening around his throat. **

"You'll find removing a dead man's spell troublesome!" Jaune cried out, having playing countless video games containing something of the sort.

"**You'll find…" he strained for breath, just as Roman did before, "removing a dead man's spell… troublesome."**

They all turned to Jaune, who shrugged, "Video games are a simple spell, but quite unbreakable." He told them.

"**You'll only wish you were dead." Watts said as Ozpin fell unconscious to the ground.**

"Boo!" Qrow yelled, "cliches are the worst! Don't be that guy!"

"I think bad guys are required by law to be 'that guy'." Ruby told him.

"I'm in agreeance with Miss Rose." Ozpin told her.

"I told you not to call me that!" Ruby yelled.

"I'm not Oscar now."

"Break yourself of the habit now!"

**A/N: More references now, each more obscure than the last. Also, the "It's a simple spell, but quite unbreakable is my absolute favorite meme, right now, as old as it may be…**

**Depending on how long Infinity War takes, I do know what I'm doing next, for the record. Or at least what I might be doing next, I suppose.**


	4. Infinity War Part 4

**A/N: it's getting hella hard to write for me. Not what to put down, but like physical ability to write it with my hands and motivation in general. **

**As Oz fell unconscious to the ground, Watts used the cables to fasten him to the ground. He then tore the piece of ground up and began carrying Oz away. But his cloak began to tug away from the restraints, zipping the Wizard away from his enemy.**

"That is one loyal piece of outerwear." Maria suddenly said.

"Didn't one of us say that already?" Yang asked.

Nora shrugged, "Maybe, but the writer took a break, and doesn't remember what jokes he has and hasn't made." She told them, much to their collective befuddlement.

"Sorry," Ren apologized for his friend, "she has a tendency to break the fourth wall for the sole sake of plot relevance."

"**No!" Watts cried, frustrated beyond belief. **

**Meanwhile, Ruby continued to fight Hazel, shielding herself from the attack as Oz zipped by.**

"**Kid," she called to her protégée. "That's the Wizard. Get on it." He nodded.**

"**On it!" He called, shooting a web in Oz's direction and swinging off in hot pursuit. That was until Watts threw a billboard at him. **

"That's against regulation superhero fighting!" Ruby called.

"There's regulations?" Jaune asked.

"Yeah," Sun told his fellow blonde, "obviously! Rule number 636 is; Thy shalt not throw moons or billboards at the heroes, even when thy is losing."

**Oscar fell to the ground with a loud cry, but quickly untangled himself, returning to the chase with a call of, "Not cool!" **

**Watts tried to use utility pole after utility pole to grab Ozpin, but failed mostly. Mostly. The last one managed to snag his cape and send him flying to the ground. Fortunately, Oscar managed to scoop him up before he hit the pavement. **

**But before he could make his escape with an unconscious Ozpin, a blue cone of light appeared, pulling both of them up to the giant donut in the sky. **

"**Uh," he called to Ruby, "Miss Rose? I'm being beamed up!" **

'Is that reference to something?" Ruby asked, earning incredulous stares from her uncle and sister.

"We really need to educate you on more nerd culture." Qrow said with a sigh, beginning to curse Taiyang under his breath, muttering about how he had told Tai he had one responsibility as a father; educate your children on the finer points of pop culture.

"**Hang on, Kid!" Ruby yelled out, getting hit with Hazel's other attack from earlier. The same one that sent her flying through a building earlier, except this one kept her restrained and shorted out her suit. She couldn't move.**

"Get my lien ready!" Sun called again.

**Hazel leapt into the air, blades ready to impale the girl, then he was very suddenly in a snowy wasteland, face planting into the cold, white substance. Port had opened a portal and saved Ruby with magic!**

"You really need to stop jinxing it," Neptune told his faunas leader, patting the boy on the back,

**Hazel made one final move to satisfy his blood lust, leaping at them but with as fast as he was, Port was much faster, closing the portal just as Hazel's hand passed through, cutting it off at the forearm. **

**The severed hand landed with a wet flop at Yang's feet, who kicked it away with a disgusted noise. **

"Ew." Ruby said, cringing.

"**Port," Ruby quickly said, "you're my new best friend." **

"Double ew." Yang added.

**And with those final words, Ruby shot into the sky after Oscar and the donut. "Give me a little juice, Velvet." **

**Ruby's two feet thrusters morphed into one that propelled her after the ship way faster, but also caused her to spiral as she ascended.**

"WANT!" Ruby shouted, drool beginning to fall down her face.

"**Unlock 17:A!" Ruby told her Australian AI. A pod suddenly launched from an offsite facility with a big A on it. The pod curved up towards Ruby and Oscar, much faster than Ruby was.**

"**Os," She said, "you gotta let go, I'm gonna catch you!" **

"With a missile?" Qrow asked, a little too sadistically,

**Oscar glanced back at her distant form, as the blue sky around the ship began to darken. "But you said save the Wizard!" He whined back, panting. The boy suddenly pulled his mask off. "I can't breathe!" **

"It just dawned on me how little we really know about what lies beyond Remnant." Maria suddenly said.

"No time for an existential crisis." Ozpin said exhaustedly.

"**You're too high up!" Ruby told him. "You're running out of air!" **

"**Yeah," Oscar said, "that makes sense. His eyes rolled back and he released his grip on the ship, flipping backwards just in time for the pod Ruby had sent after him to impact his back, expanding around him in a version of his suit that looked a lot like Ruby's. It was even nanotech, just like her's. **

"WANT!" Ruby yelled again, this time receiving her teammates' hands hitting the back of her head.

**He recovered almost immediately, flipping around and landing on his hands and knees with the proclaiming of, "Miss Rose! It smells like a new car in here!" **

"Stahp!" Ruby indignantly whined, possibly concussed from how hard her teammates had struck her.

**Ruby gave him a polite nod as she reached the ship, "Happy trails, Kid." She told him, "Velvet, send him home."**

"**Yep." A parachute suddenly shot out from Oscar's back, pulling him off the ship and back down towards Remnant. **

"_**OH COME ON!**_**" He yelled, his voice quickly fading. **

Qrow chuckled, "That Kid reminds me of my own apprentice."

"Yeah," Ruby said with a fond smile. "But you'd never do that parachute thing to me, right?"

"Oh, I'd do that shit in a fucking second." Qrow said, earning a pouting look from his trainee.

**Ruby paid him no mind as she latched onto the ship, using her Swiss army armor to cut through the hull. Sliding inside and repairing it behind her. **

"That thing is useful as hell." Yang pointed out.

"**Boss," Velvet said, "incoming call from Miss Schnee." **

All but the white haired member of RWBY covered their ears, fully prepared for Weiss' shrill screaming to fill the room.

**Weiss' voice suddenly came through Ruby's earpiece in an extremely worried, maternal tone. "Ruby?" She asked, "Oh, my God. Are you alright? What's going on?" **

They all slowly uncovered their ears, confused.

"**Yeah," Ruby nonchalantly told her best friend, "I'm fine. Might not make it to your engagement dinner, though." **

"**Why?" Weiss asked.**

They returned their hands to their ears once more.

**Ruby anxiously looked around the ship, with a look that showed she hadn't exactly thought this all the way through. **

"Take this as a lesson, Ruby." Qrow said, "Think your plans through."

"In my defense, it was either this or life gets destroyed, 'on a scale slither to undreamt of'."

"You mean hitherto?" Blake asked, with an amused smile painted on her face.

"Same thing."

"**Just 'cause I'll… probably not make it back for a while. "**

"**Tell me you're not on that ship." Weiss demanded.**

"**Yeah." Ruby quietly admitted.**

"**You come back here, Ruby!" Weiss said in typical Weiss fashion, sounding as though she was becoming more and more panicked by the second, even if her voice was starting to cut out. **

"She's gonna die out there." Blake admitted. "That's a scene for a dead woman."

"Not necessarily." Jaune tried to reason.

"No yeah, she's dead." Ren agreed.

"**Boss," Velvet said, her voice doing the same, "we're losing her. I'm going too…" and just like that, Ruby was alone. Or so she thought.**

**On the outside, Oscar had managed to stick to the side of the ship, stowing away inside a quickly closing chamber.**

Ruby just sighed tiredly.

"**I shoulda stayed on the bus." He whispered to himself, as he watched Remnant slowly recede from view.**

"Ya think?!" Ruby annoyedly screeched.

**Meanwhile, back on Remnant, Yang bent down and picked up the flip phone Ruby had previously tried to call Jaune on, discarded amongst the rubble.**

"No!" Ruby bathetically cried, "Not my minutes!"

"I'm gonna use all of your minutes, Ruby!" Yang joking yelled back, "And I'm gonna make a long distance call!"

"How dare you!"

**The blonde doctor brushed it off thoughtfully as Port opened a Portal to the Sanctum behind her. **

"**Where are you going?" She asked him.**

"**The Time stone's been taken. The sanctum remains unguarded." He told her."what will you do?" She showed him the phone. **

"Always looking for a way to get out of work." Ozpin shook his head, "Peter could help more than he's willing to."

"Sounds about right." Qrow agreed.

"**I'm gonna make a call!" She told him. He nodded and closed the portal behind him, as a catchy song that sounded like it was from the seventies began to slowly fade in, until it was the only audio. **

"What were the seventies like, Uncle Qrow?" Ruby suddenly asked.

"I was five when the seventies ended." Qrow gruffly said, "ask Maria."

"Drugs." Maria simply said, "Lotta drugs."

**One of the keyboard hits was accompanied by an abrupt cut and the next with a large title on the screen: 'SPACE' it read. The camera slowly panned around to a brightly colored planet, surrounded by beautiful rings of ice and over to a spaceship, where it seemed the music was originating from. **

"Oh!" Maria suddenly shouted, "Rubberband Man used to be my jam!"

"**He got his feet to movin'!" The singer loudly declared, "got that rubber band off the ground!" It cut to inside of the spaceship, and a blonde man in a red jacket pulled his arm into a muscle pose, clearly lip syncing along. "And he lifted it waaaaay up high, ha!" **

"Who's the spaceman?" Sun asked, crossing his arms.

**The man extended a finger, bouncing it up and down along with the beat. "At the sky, y'all! And then he…!" As the man got more and more into singing, the camera slowly panned around to show that the person was none other than Taiyang Xiao Long That was passionately singing along to Rubberband man. **

"Dad?!" Yang and Ruby yelled in embarrassed unison.

Qrow quietly chuckled, "I see nothing wrong with this representation of Tai."

"**Hey, Y'all! Prepare yourself, for the Rubberband, maaan." Tai contorted his face for that last word.**

"**Sing it, Jim!" The camera slowly moved down to show a shirtless, alien looking version of Ironwood, fast asleep in front of him, panning over to show a very green Raven Branwen lip-syncing along as well. But as it panned up to who was sitting beside Tai, none in the room were prepared to see his first mate, Qrow, but a raccoon. The man yawned.**

"Why am I a Raccoon?" Qrow asked.

"I don't know," Ruby said, "I think it's kinda cute."

"I am not cute!" Qrow indignantly cried, "I am ferocious."

"**Why're we doing this again?" Raccoon Qrow asked.**

"**It's a distress signal, Qrow!" Raven annoyedly said, "someone could be dying!" **

"Since when has Mom ever cared about that?" Yang asked.

"Since multiverse." Weiss added.

"**Yeah," Qrow said, "I get that, but why are we doing it?" **

"**Cause we're nice." Taiyang told him, proving once again how the version of him they all knew managed to make Ruby such a nice young woman. "And maybe whoever it is will give us some cheddar cheese for our efforts!" Raven waved a finger at Tai, making a point.**

"**Which isn't the point!" She told him. He pointed back.**

"**Right! Which isn't the point! But if he doesn't pony up…" Tai said back, making them all realize that this was not the real Taiyang,**

"**We take his ship!" Ironwood yelled excitedly. Or the real Ironwood. Hell, this wasn't even the real Raven. **

"**Exactly!" Qrow exclaimed.**

"**B-b-bup-bingo!" Tai yelled back. **

"This is so off brand for all of you, and it makes me uncomfortable." Ruby suddenly said, sinking down into her seat.

**Raven looked up at him with a look of concern, but he just returned the look, and grimaced a little "don't worry about it" expression back.**

"**We are arriving!" A much much younger Maria said from behind the blonde man, making them realize that an alien looking Maria was in the back, with two buggy eyes and antennae.**

"Wha—?! Is that me?!" Maria yelled, "I'm so young!"

"**All right," Tai announced, "Guardians! Don't forget that this might be dangerous, so let's put on our mean faces!" Maria made a snarling face behind him and a tree looking person rolled his eyes and continued playing a handheld game. **

"What the fuck is that?!" Qrow screeched. "Kill it! Kill it with fire!"

"It's adorable!" Weiss and Ruby said in unison.

"**Zwei," He told the tree thing, "put that thing away. Now. I don't wanna tell you again." Zwei ignored him. "Zwei." He called again. **

"If That was Zwei," Qrow said, "we would have used him for firewood. Cause that is not natural."!

"Nooo!" Ruby scolded, "Zwei is family—tree creature or not!"

"**I am Zwei." He said in a mocking tone, getting a reaction out of a lot of the crew members. **

**A "Whoa!" From Tai.**

"**Language!" From Qrow.**

"**Hey!" From Raven.**

**And finally, a quietly, "Wow." From Ironwood.**

"**You got some acorns on you, Kid!" Tai yelled back at Zwei.**

"What did he say?" Blake asked.

"I don't know." Qrow said. "But it sounded disrespectful."

"**Ever since you got a little sap," Qrow angrily ranted back at the tree. "You've been a total d-hole! Keep it up, and I'm gonna **_**SMASH THAT THING TO PIECES!**_**"**

"I think I just realized why Qrow doesn't have any kids." Oz said.

"Because Ruby's a burden that I don't wanna have to go through again." Qrow jokingly said.

"Hey!" Ruby yelled back, sounding hurt.

"I'm kidding. Relax." Qrow said, "at least with you I could just give you back and go to Atlas if you got annoying. If you were my kid, I'd have to be 'responsible'."

"Responsibility has never been your strong suit." Ruby told him.

"I know." Qrow agreed.

**Zwei just rolled his eyes again, ignoring them all as the ship decelerated into their destination: the exploded remains of Nora's ship from the beginning. Bodies and debris floated in the vacuum.**

"**What happened?" Maria asked, shocked and sounding rather saddened by the sight.**

"**Looks like we're not getting paid!" Qrow scoffed. **

"How much do you think Nora's kingdom is worth?" Ren suddenly asked.

"Like," Nora began, "five billion."

"Lien?"

"Pancakes."

**With a thump, Nora suddenly impacted their windshield, prompting the raccoon man to suddenly shout, "Wipers! Wipers! Get it off!" Whilst waving his hands in a wiping motion. Nora's eye shot open and the Guardians all collectively gasped.**

"Raccoon Qrow is slowly becoming real Qrow." Yang pointed out.

**It suddenly cut to them all, not so gently slamming a still unconscious Nora onto an examination table. **

"**How the hell is this girl still alive?" Taiyang asked.**

"I mean," Jaune said, "she got blown up too, and she's still in one piece."

"**She is not a girl." Ironwood said, sounding like he was way too much in awe for anyone's comfort, "you are a girl. This… this is a woman. A violent, muscular woman."**

"**I'm muscular." Taiyang quietly offended, sounding a little dented.**

"**Who are you kidding, Tai?" Qrow said, "you're one sandwich away from fat!"**

"Damn." Qrow loudly scoffed, "Get fucked Tai!"

"**Yeah, right." **

"**It's true," Ironwood added, "you have gained a little weight…" he motioned to his own chin and belly as Raven moved away from the offended looking blonde man's side. **

"**What? Rae, do you think I'm…" He didn't even finish the question, as Maria quickly cut him off.**

"Funny story: this is pretty close to the Team STRQ dynamic." Ozpin suddenly cut in. "If Raven and Summer were the same person."

"**She is anxious." She told them, "angry. She feels tremendous loss and guilt." **

"**It's like a pirate had a baby with an angel." Ironwood needlessly added.**

"**Wow." Taiyang looked around at his crew mates incredulously, "This is a real wake up call for me. Okay. I'm gonna get a bowflex. I'm gonna commit. I'm gonna get some dumbbells."**

"**You know you can't eat dumbbells, right?" Qrow asked.**

"Let the man live, Uncle Qrow!" Ruby yelled, trying to hold back the laughter at her father's expense.

"You know I'm not a merciful man, Kid." Qrow told his niece. "And I'm absolutely gonna use this on your dad when I see him next."

**Raven turned to Maria and quietly told her to, "Wake her up." The latter put her hands on Nora's head.**


	5. Coming Soon

**A/N: So, I've been lacking motivation for IW reactions, because I'm barely halfway through, and it's such a long movie! Anyway, I thought I might speed myself up with the encouragement of taking a break and letting the cast react to a couple of things I'd like to do next. The original idea for this was to get the cast of RWBY to react to television shows, but I started on Infinity War instead. So, I now present to you the previews for what is to come.**

The cast collectively groaned as the screen faded to black just before Maria woke Nora.

"Yeah, Yeah," the disembodied voice that brought them there said, "We'll come back to that, but first: we're gonna watch some previews for what you're watching after this!"

"Ooo~!" Ruby said, with excited glee. "I love seeing the previews!"

"Why?" Yang scoffed.

"Because then you get to see the new stuff!" Jaune chimed in.

"**UP NEXT" The screen read.**

**This trailer began with a shot of Sun, walking down the aisle on a plane. **

"Ooo~!" Ruby excitedly declared. "A plane trip, I wonder where to!"

"Does it matter?" Ren asked, "it's probably not gonna land."

"And they call me the pessimist…" Qrow quietly mumbled under his breath.

"Well," Blake said, "he has a point. Plane crashes are a largely over saturated trope in entertainment."

**It's engines could be heard in the background as he did. It faded to Neptune, who was trying to shove a guitar into the coat closet on the same plane. **

"Dude!" Sun shouted, "you play guitar?"

"No." Neptune quietly admitted.

"You have a guitar in the thing though!" Sun pointed to the case, but Neptune just couldn't bother to explain how horrendously stupid that observation was. So he just face palmed, much to Sun's amusement.

**Then, to Ren, who sat down in one of seats with an exhausted sigh. Oz was also seated, looking tired and defeated. Finally, they were shown Ruby, sitting next to the window in an entirely black outfit. Ruby had never been one for a dress, and they all knew it. She was instead where a black pantsuit with a white dress shirt. She was watching the blue, cloud streaked sky as they made their way to wherever it was they were going.**

"Yup." Blake said, "it's gonna crash. For sure."

"What makes you say that?" Weiss asked.

"Well," Blake's face twisted as she looked for the most polite way of wording this. "Every form of cross continental travel with Ruby and Oz has always crashed in my experience." Qrow looked away, trying to act casual, instead looking more guilty than he would have otherwise.

"**So, how's the drink?" Velvet, the flight attendant suddenly asked the crimsonette who turned to face her. It was clear she didn't want to talk to her, but was just being polite in responding.**

Ruby gasped almost overacting to seeing her much older self with a bottle of alcohol in hand. Sure it was small, and empty. But still!

"Alright," Blake suddenly said, turning to her blonde partner, a notebook and pencil appearing seemingly out of nowhere. Yang's eye twitched as she saw Blake quickly scribble down '_Ruby - Alcoholic? Nervous flier? Both?' _"Any idea why our dry leader would drink?" Yang shook her head, putting her hands up as if to tell Blake to leave her out of it.

"Looking at what she's wearing." Maria quickly pointed out. "Looks like she's headed to a funeral." Qrow's eyes widened as they scanned the scene for his older niece, hoping it wasn't Yang.

"**It's good." Ruby told her. The rabbit faunas chuckled lightly.**

"It's not." Qrow told them. "If she really is headed to someone's funeral, that won't do it." The birdman ignored the sound of Blake rapidly scribbling this all down.

"**That wasn't a very strong reaction." She joked.**

"**Well, it's not a very strong drink." Ruby told the stewardess with a sardonic chuckle. **

"She either drinks regularly or she's headed to someone who's funeral she thinks she killed." Ozpin said. "Trust me on this one. It's all in the body language." Their Ruby just sat there, not sure if she wanted to yell at them, fight them, or join in the speculation. It was her face she was looking up at, however. She wasn't used to trying to read it. Yang and Qrow had years of practice.

**Velvet laughed and looked away as it faded once more to the plane rocking, almost launching passengers from their seats. Maria was apparently sitting in the row across from Ruby, looking rather anxious. It cut to Blake, who was sitting elsewhere, handcuffs fastened tightly over her wrists as she looked up.**

"Wait, why am I in cuffs?" Blake indignantly cried, almost sounding like Weiss for a moment.

"Maybe you stole someone's tongue!" Yang pointed out, much to her faunas partner's visible befuddlement. "You know; cat's got your tongue?" Yang tried to save the lame pun, but it was too late.

**It cut rapidly between the passengers, as the stewardess told them that the pilot had turned on the seatbelt light. The cuts were so rapid that it was beginning to become difficult to discern who was who, until it stopped on Ruby, who was leaning across the aisle to speak to Maria, "It's alright," She soothingly told Maria, "it's gonna be okay." The moment she finished, there was a wind of turbulence so strong that a few of the passengers were launched into the ceiling. **

"We were right!" Blake gleefully shouted, reaching over almost every seat to give Ren a high five. "That bitch is crashing!" Ruby was taken aback by Blake's sudden outburst. And that she was celebrating a plane crash that had almost all of her friends aboard, including herself.

**It continued to rapidly cut between the passengers each putting on their oxygen masks, before they were shown Ruby, laying down in grass. Her eye shot open and quickly dilated. **

"**We must have been at about forty thousand feet when it happened," Ruby said, her voice playing as they were shown her running into a beach, and taking her coat off.**

"I'm just gonna assume that she was thrown from the plane…" Maria noted, "No way she'd have survived."

"Unless they didn't!" Nora shouted dramatically.

"Don't be ridiculous. The afterlife wouldn't look anything like this!" Ruby countered.

"Unless it's Hell!" Nora offered, "Or purgatory!"

Ren rolled his eyes, "That would be lazy writing."

**She was shown standing in front of the plane's wreckage, confused as she looked around.**

**Ghira walked out of the wreckage, shouting for someone. "We had to have hit an air pocket." Ruby explained. Ozpin was seen, laying on the ground with a scar identical to the one Weiss had. He wiggled his toes and looked down at them in shock.**

"Oz looks like someone stole his shoes." Sun pointed out with a loud, hearty laugh. "Like, 'shit! Not again'!"

"**Dropped." Ruby continued, as Weiss was seen, standing and screaming amongst the wreckage. The cuts were beginning to become rapid once more, and they saw a pregnant Yang bent over on the beach, clearly distressed. **

"Disappointed but not surprised." Weiss said, earning an angry glare from her blonde teammate.

**Ozpin waved somebody to move, and the man was sucked into the engine of the plane.**

"Oh my gosh!" Ruby yelped, seeing the stranger fly into the engine.

"**We were a thousand miles off course. They're looking for us in the wrong place." Ruby told them, tackling Yang as the engine exploded.**

"**Stranded on an island!" Neptune said, waddling down the beach. They were shown the plane's wing, pointed into the air, as Neptune continued, "No one's coming for us!"**

"Bit pessimistic, but fair." Qrow added.

"**This place…" Oz paused, leaning into whoever he was talking to, "is different." Cut to Ruby looking angry as the camera spun around her, "we all know it. We all feel it." Cut to a jungle cliffside. Then to a beach cliffside.**

"And in the role of crazy old man, we have our usual star of Ozma!" Oscar suddenly added, an underlying bitterness in his voice. No one cared, however. They hadn't listened to him for a while now.

"**It's been six days!" Ruby told somebody, "we're all waiting for someone to come!" The survivors gathered on the beach, and Oz turned around, looking back in the night. **

**Weiss and Whitley are sitting beside each other, by the fire.**

"FUCK!" Weiss uncharacteristically shouted. "That ass is there too?!"

"**But what if they don't!" Ruby said. The camera showed them, Jaune is shown, standing and listening to Jaune speak, as the young silver eyed warrior paces in front of the survivors, "we need to start figuring things out! We need to figure out how we're going to survive here!" The survivors each gather at the edge of the jungle, and a high pitched roar is heard from deep in the jungle.**

"Was that a Grimm?" Jaune asked.

"I've never heard a Grimm make a noise like that before." Maria told him.

"**What was that?!" Yang asked. "Did anybody see that?!"**

"**Terrific." Neptune muttered. A tree was uprooted and Blake was seen climbing a cliff. **

"**My main concern," Ruby said, as Neptune sprints through the jungle, "is keeping us alive." Ruby says to Blake. Ruby is beaten down by someone in the mud. Blake screams, terrified in the rain, and Sun unloads a Glock into the tall grass. Somebody falls off a cliff, grabbing onto a vine to save themself. Oz takes a step back. All while this is happening, the all too unfamiliar voice of Summer Rose monologues to her daughter, "Don't choose, Ruby. Don't decide. You don't want to be a hero, you don't try and save everyone because when you fail… you just don't have what it takes." **

"I think I know whose funeral she was headed to." Qrow said. The sisters slowly pieced it together, but no one else did.

"**We need to get off this island!" Terra says.**

"**You think any of us want to be here?" Weiss tells someone. Ruby is suddenly seen standing on a beach, as voice over is heard, "we're all here now!" Ruby yells, breaking up a fight on the beach. "If we can't live together, we're gonna die alone!"**

"Why can't you be that good at speeches?" Yang stage whispered to her sister, who threw her hands up.

"That is almost exactly what I've been saying!" Ruby indignantly shouted.

"**Do you really think that all of this is an accident?" Oz asks Ruby, holding a torch ablaze with fire in the dark jungle. Oz is seen looking up and letting the rain wash over him. Jaune walks among the plane wreckage, and Ghira is seen doing the same. "That we complete strangers survived? You think we crashed on this place by coincidence?!" Oz asked, returning to him and Ruby in the jungle.**

"**Each." Blake. "One." Neptune, "Of," Sun, "Us was brought here for a reason!" Ren. **

"**And who brought us here, Oz?" Ruby asked, almost threateningly.**

**Oz sighed, "The Island."**

—**L O S T— **

**The title appeared on screen, slowly moving in and out of focus as static played loudly.**

"And award for interesting premise with an uncreative name goes to!" Neptune sarcastically announced.

"I like it." Ruby told them. "Short, not too convoluted."

"No subtitle." Ren offered. "I mean, what would you prefer: Via Domus?"

"What?" Neptune asked. "Via-What does that mean?"

"The Way Home." Ren told him.

"O-Okay." Neptune said, at a loss for words, "I-Next!"

**The next preview was a lot different, in terms of how it was just a scene from one of the next shows they were about to watch. It began with a slow, tracking shot of a black, vintage car. The motor was loud as hell, whatever it was. **

"Damn. Nice car…" Yang catcalled the car.

**Inside, they were shown that said car belonged to none other than Yang Xiao-Long, sitting behind the steering wheel in a dirty, brown leather jacket. Her red-headed half sister, by her side as always, but this time dressed in a blue plaid shirt.**

"Ew." Weiss disgustingly added. "Plaid."

"What's wrong with plaid?" Jaune asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"What isn't wrong with plaid?!" Was the only argument Weiss had. Jaune decided not to waste his breath in arguing.

"**Hey, Yang?" Ruby quietly asked.**

"**Yeah?" Yang gruffly answered.**

"No one talks to my Baby sister like that!" Yang shouted.

"But it's you that said it." Blake pointed out.

"Shut up!"

"**You know if this doesn't uh... this doesn't go the way we want, I want you to know – ." Yang swiftly cut Ruby off with a series of no's. "No what?" She asked in response.**

"**No, you're not gonna bust out the misty good-bye speech, okay? And if this is my last day on earth, I do not want it to be socially awkward." Yang angrily told her. Ruby looked almost offended. Almost. Mostly just hurt. She looked down and then looked out the window. **

Yang quietly groaned, wanting to deck her alternate self for talking to pure, innocent Ruby like that! "I'll kill you, me!" She suddenly shouted. Ruby sighed and facepalmed at such a display. Only to yelp when Yang grabbed her. "Too pure for this world!" She yelled, ignoring the weak punches of protest Ruby was landing on her face.

**The older of the two must have felt bad, because she suddenly spoke up again, "You know what I do want?" She asked, grin on her face, as she reached down to turn on the radio. Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead or Alive came blaring through the car's speakers.**

**Needless to say, Ruby was... confused. "Bon Jovi?" She asked.**

"**Bon Jovi rocks-!" Yang said.**"On occasion." Qrow corrected.

"**On occasion." She told Ruby. **

"I like this one." Qrow added quietly, much to Yang's protests.

**Before belting the song along, out of key, and not even keeping pace. "And I walk these streets! A loaded six-string on my back! I play for keeps!" She began to nudge her younger sister. "Come on," She told her. **

"She's not that bad." Yang admitted. "Seems kinda nice, Blake. Geez, no need to lash out at alternate me!"

Blake only tiredly sighed at this, not even dignifying that with a response.

"**'Cause I might not make it back! I've been everywhere!" Ruby giggled, quietly joining in. "And I'm standing tall!"**

"**I've seen a million faces! And I rocked 'em all! 'Cause I'm a cowboy! On a steel horse I ride! I'm wanted!" They shouted. Yang looked over at Ruby, who seemed to be getting really into it.**

Ruby pulled her hood over her head and sunk down into her seat. She didn't like to see an image of herself singing. Especially not while her friends were watching.

"**WANTED!" She shouted. Yang's smile slowly faded, and Ruby's voice faded into the background. As the scene began to end, Yang's eyes were glued on the road, her face somber.**

"**SUPERNATURAL" The title told them.**

"What?" They collectively asked.

"What does that have to do with the supernatural?" Qrow asked.

**As if to answer their question, the title faded into a tagline, "FAMILY DOESN'T HAVE TO END IN BLOOD."**

"That makes me more nervous than I've ever been." Qrow said.

"**You really should be…" The voice told him. "A lotta people die."**

"I fucking hate you." Qrow angrily grumbled.

**The final preview began with Ruby's quiet voice saying, "So, this is a let's play." On a black screen.**

"Oh no." Ozpin quietly sighed.

"**You prick!" Qrow's voice called to her.**

"**LLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S PLAY!" Ruby shouted back, and a Green star in a black circle accompanied by four green circular bars surrounding the outside of the circle. In the center of the star was a black joystick. **

"That was waaaay too loud for my liking!" Weiss said, her hands clasped tightly over her ears.

"**That was louder than I thought it would be." Qrow said.**

"**Hey, guys what's up, this is Qrow Branwen-" Qrow's voice began, cutting to Qrow, sitting at a desk and shouting, "You can't beat Wall Street!"**

"I don't follow." Maria suddenly said.

"Looks like a Let's Play channel." Ruby pointed out.

"I have no idea what that means."

"People record themselves playing video games and post it on the internet." Jaune explained.

"**James!" Ironwood's voice picked up, cutting to the man, sitting between the Branwen twins.**

"I don't believe James would ever partake in something such as this."

**The General had a full beard on his face as well. "This two **_**strive **_**on conflict."**

"Yup!" Qrow said, smiling and leaning back, only for his semblance to make his chair break and cause the birdman to topple over. Only to find himself immediately back in his seat, sitting up.

"**Yang!" Yang's face was not seen this time, instead, the screen showed her playing a game that featured a square trying to avoid spikes. "MOTHER FUCKING TRIPLE SPIKES!" She screamed.**

Ruby retreated into herself upon hearing her older sister screaming so angrily. Sure, Yang had flipped out on more than her fair share of video games, but never to THAT extent.

"Calm yourself, Yang!" Weiss screeched at her teammate's on screen counterpart.

"**Jaune!" Jaune walked up to the handheld camera that was being pointed at himself and said, "I might go and top myself tonight."**

"What?" Neptune asked. "What does that even mean?" Sun shrugged.

"Everyone else stopped questioning this shit a long time ago, Neptune. Maybe you should too." The blue haired boy only responded by slumping over in defeat.

"**Ruby!" RWBY's leader was seen, wearing a beanie with the same logo they'd seen at the start, but pointing at a map in a rather small bathroom. "Operation WAFFLE. We're All Friends. Friends Love Each Other."**

"Each Other is two words, Ruby." Blake absentmindedly corrected her leader.

"No it's not!" Ruby told her faunas teammate.

"**Found out yesterday that each other's two words. So, WAFFLEO."**

"I stand corrected…" Ruby said.

"**And Taiyang!" The man wasn't seen, but a video game character wearing a leather jacket and a skull mask was. "I'm on a murder-break!" **

"Okay then!" Yang said, "That was a thing."

"**From Achievement Hunter dot com!" They all said in unison.**

"**And This is…" Ruby said. The words, "THIS IS…." Appearing on the screen.**

"**GO!" Qrow shouted, seen holding a microphone in hand.**

"**AHWU!" Ironwood declared, holding a different microphone in hand.**

"**Rage Quit!" Yang's angry voice cut through. "-Rage Quit-" Appeared on screen.**

"**Things To Do In..." Jaune said, the words he said also appearing on screen.**

"**Hunt!" Taiyang said.**

"**Versus!" Yang this time. Except the blonde was holding up a wrestling belt. **

"**LLLLET'S PLAY!" Ruby shouted once again. **

"I think these are the different videos that they post on their website." Oscar offered.

"I can't wait for that one!" Sun excitedly said. "This one looks the least depressing!"

Ruby nodded in agreement. This one seemed to look like the only one of them that wasn't dramatic and likely to have her friends die.

That and she liked video games. Mainly the video games thing though.

**This was seemingly the end of the previews. For now, at least.**

**A/N: Alright. After IW, I'm gonna do the LOST pilot, and I'll alternate shows by episodes until I get to the end of both. Only deviation is with Achievement Hunter, which will include GO, Versus, and whatever Let's Plays I'd like to include. Previews took way too long, btw. I think I started writing the LOST preview when I was watching Season 2 or 3. I only decided to change who Jack was going to be supplemented by when I finished the show. Because it's much more fitting for Ruby to be Jack and Jaune to be Hurley, than for Ruby to be Jacob and Jaune be Jack. **

**Anyway, I'm gonna try and finish up Infinity War in the next update, hopefully before I go to college in August. But it's soooo much work already! I'll get on it soon.**


End file.
